Angels & Demons

I just recently finished reading a book called Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown. It was an amazing book and I would recommend it to anyone who can appreciate an educational fiction novel. It opened up my mind to a lot of ideas. New ways of thinking. It sort of built off of some thoughts I was already having. I've never been the kind of person to believe everything I hear. Actually, I hardly ever believe anything I hear. Especially when it comes to God.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in and love God with every fiber of my being. But I never want to be a brainwashed believer. I know God created this universe using Gods own master plan. God made each and every one of us just exactly the way God wanted to. That, I have no doubt about. It's something I could never deny. But I become troubled when I get to the Bible and Jesus.

Gods power and being is unfathomable. To think that we, as humans could ever understand him, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Our minds are so limited and miniscule. To say that you understand God is to undermine the very essence of Gods existence.

The first step to love is fear? I disagree. I love God because of the beauty and perfection of its being. I don't need eternal damnation to motivate me to love my God. The church however, survives on the sole idea of hell. Fear is not the first step to love. Fear is the first step to getting you to blindly follow the church. And I'm not bashing a certain religion here, all religions thrive off of fear.

Its human nature to ignore something until it becomes beneficial to you. Religion would not exist today unless it promised eternal paradise for good deeds, and damnation in hell for not following the religion.

The Holy Bible. Supposedly the word of God. Written completely by man. Is this not setting limits on God? Is this not putting a face on a God that has no gender, no race, no end? Am I supposed to believe and follow a book that was written by men that lived hundreds of years ago. Is that what faith is supposed to be?

I always wonder if this pleases God or angers God. Are humans so desperate for deeper meaning and purpose in life that they have to create religion? The one thing that has divided this world from the very beginning of its existence.

Maybe I'm going looney, or thinking too much.

But if these thoughts have any truth to them, then

God help us all.

25 random things.

1. Maybe I should be more serious.

2. I eat so much that I should weigh 300 pounds.

3. I refer to myself as a lesbian at least 10 times a day.

4. My fear for snakes is unbelievably intense.

5. Ryley said that I should stop chewing on the inside of my cheeks. 

6. I own over 50 pairs of shoes.

7. I never sleep with socks on.

8. I love gore. 

9. I'm an avid reader.

10. I have an odd sense of humor.

11. I have nothing to hide.

12. My favorite nail polish color is plum. 

13. I am never completely satisfied, but I am content. Confusing, I know.

14. My favorite place is Seattle. 

15. I want to go on a picnic, really bad.

16. I love you.

17. Smoking is my worst habit. I'm quitting.

18. I love my friends more than life itself.

19. Is my favorite number.  

20. I have lots of pillows. 

21. The beach really isn't that great...

22. I strive to be selfless.

23. My hair is naturally frizzy.

24. I question things too much.

25. 5 times 5 is 25. 

The Office Marathon

I just woke up from a nap and I am super grumpy.

I went to church today, then went shopping, then went to Roberto's. YUMM. Worked out, then slept. And now here I am :)

Tomorrow shall be spectacular. The Office marathon with Maui and Jared.

Go Away

I hate that I still love him. That's the honest to God truth. I wish it would just go away. But that's not how love works. And that's a shame.

I don't have anything else to say. Good bye for today.

Never Know

Today was definitely one of them days. Nothing bad happened, but I had a pretty intense conversation with my friend and it just got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

I have come to the conclusion that you just never know.

You never know when you will die.

You never know what they might be going through.

You never know if they could be dying.

You never know if they could be hurting.

You never know if they might need your help.

You never know if your smile could make their day.

You never know how far your good deed will go.

Live your life as if it's your last day on earth. Don't put things off until tomorrow, because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Smile at the person you pass by in the hallway. It could make their day.

Well, that's all I have to say today.

Weak

Okay okay, so I had a weak moment.

It happens to everyone.

He was there for me last night, he just let me yell and cry and call myself stupid. It was absolutely amazing. I felt so good afterward. He didn't offer advice, he didn't tell me it was okay, he didn't tell me that I did the right thing. Sometimes I just need to yell without someone trying to calm me down. And damn it felt good.

Well, I am off to school. I will probably have more to write when I get home. So until then...

Lost time

Fortune cookies are my favorite so I opened it right away and this is what mine said....

Jeesh. Probably the worst fortune cookie I have ever gotten.